The Kunoichi Bride
by Christopher Scott
Summary: A HinataxNaruto crossover with The Princess Bride, because the idea seemed interesting. It has it all: giants, miracles, true love, torture, fighting, revenge... Please read and review. Anonymous reviews allowed.truly, Christopher Scott: A Gentleman Thief
1. Chapter 1

The Kunoichi Bride

I own neither Naruto nor Princess Bride. I'm pretty sure. Kinda. I think. Yeah, we'll go with that. Please let me know if I misspelled anything.

Chapter 1

Hinata was a lovely kunoichi, with her blue hair and lavender eyes in the country of Konoha. She came from the wealthy Hyuuga family, but she was not particularly happy among her family. Hinata was at her happiest when she was bothering her friend, Naruto, the family's hired genin (It was a long, sordid tale as to how it happened, so, we're not getting into it).

It always brightened Hinata's day to give him a command, as it gave her a chance to both see him, and vent her frustration to him.

"Naruto," Hinata said in the field, "Please shine my saddle."

"As you wish," the blonde boy in orange said.

"As you wish" was all he ever said whenever she commanded him. She thought of how he only ever said that to her. She was amazed when she realized that "As you wish" was his odd way of saying "I love you". Even more amazing was the day that she realized that she loved him back.

"Naruto," Hinata said in the kitchen.

He turned to her, waiting for a command. She had none, so she desperately looked around, looking for an excuse to keep him in the room longer.

"Could you get me that pitcher?" she asked, pointing to a pitcher that was easily reachable to her. He just smiled, the six whisker-like marks on his cheeks rising with the grin on his face.

"As you wish," he whispered, his face close to hers, causing her to blush.

Eventually, the time came when Naruto's contract with the Hyuuga had expired, and he prepared to seek his fortune in order to eventually provide for Hinata when he came to court her. Hinata was sad to see him go.

"What if I never see you again?" she asked, concern for Naruto flowing from her voice to her eyes.

"I will come back for you, Hinata-Chan, believe it," Naruto replied gently.

"What makes you so sure?" she responded worriedly.

"This is true love," he assured her, "Think this happens every day?"

Unfortunately, months later, Hinata got a letter saying that a caravan that Naruto was travelling with on the way to Suna was attacked by the Dread Bandit Kyuubi, who never left captives alive. Hinata took it badly and focused on training, distancing herself from everybody she knew.

"I'll never love again," she said, Byakugan active as she performed Jyuuken on a stump in her family's training ground.


	2. Chapter 2

The Kunoichi Bride

Chapter 2

My Magic 8 Ball told me I don't own either of the stories involved, and, if you can't trust a children's toy, who can you trust?

Note: I'm taking some creative license with the character's appearances. Again, sorry for any misspellings, can anyone tell me what I mess up on, so I can fix it?

Orochimaru was the heir apparent to the title Hokage of Konoha. As such, the lore of the land gave him the right to choose his bride.

"My people," the serpentine looking man said, "I have chosen a wife. She is a kunoichi like many of you. I give to you… Hinata Hyuuga."

Hinata mournfully walked through the crowd, wearing a lavender kimono. Her family had grown weary of her, and, as she was a formidable ninja and the heir of the esteemed Hyuuga clan, was a very eligible bachelorette. However, despite being forcefully engaged to him, she did not love him.

Despite Orochimaru's assurance that she would grow to love him, her only joy was riding her horse through the forest surrounding the village.

On one such ride, she saw an odd trio, standing side by side. One was a grey haired man, despite his young appearance, who was wearing a pair of glasses. To his left was a 7 foot tall male (remember, those of you with pointy swords on hand, creative license) with black hair in a bowl cut, black eyes, and was dressed in green spandex. To the grey haired man's right, was a male dressed in blue, with black hair in a position reminiscent of the non-quacking end of a duck, black eyes that looked almost dead, and was dressed in a simple blue outfit. At his side was a magnificent sword.

"Pardon me," spectacled one said, "we are but lost circus folk, trying to find our way. Can you tell us if there is a town, nearby?"

"There's no town, not for miles," Hinata said suspiciously, getting off her horse into a combat stance.

"Then' there will be no one to hear you scream," the man replied.

Hinata prepared to fight, when, suddenly, the swordsman cried out "Sharingan," and looked her in the eyes, his now red with swirling black bits in them. Then, everything went black.

o-o

"What are you cutting, Kabuto?" Sasuke asked with irritation in his voice.

"It's a hitae ate from a ninja from Suna," the silver haired man replied, placing it on the horse's saddle and then making the horse run.

"Who's Suna?" Lee asked.

"The nation in the desert! The sworn enemy of Konoha!" Kabuto shouted, "Once Orochimaru finds out his bride has been kidnapped, he will set out on a search for her. When they find her body near the lands of Suna, the Konohans will assume that the Sunans have killed the Hokage's bride and start a war."

"You didn't mention killing anyone," Lee said, "that is most unyouthful!"

"I'm letting you help me start the next Shinobi War," Kabuto replied in a patronizing tone, "It's a very lucrative and time-honored tradition."

"I just think it unyouthful to kill an innocent girl," Lee said.

"Have I gone insane," Kabuto shouted, "Or did the word 'think' just come out of your mouth. I didn't hire you to think, you demon-sized idiot! I hired you to be the heavy lifter! Do you want me to send you back where you came from? Jobless in Oto?"

"I agree with Lee," Sasuke said simply.

"And the drunk has spoken!" Kabuto shouted, "Never forget this! When I met you, you were such a drunken wreck, that you couldn't even afford a shot of sake! If you tow are so bothered by this, I'll kill her myself!"

Sasuke walked up to Lee as they approached their ship, which would take them to the place where they would do the actual killing.

"Kabuto doesn't mean to fuss," he told Lee, smirking.

"Fuss," Lee asked, slightly confused, until a knowing smile crossed his face, "He really likes to yell at us."

"He really doesn't mean any harm," Sasuke continued.

"He's really very short on charm," Lee replied.

"My friend, you have a gift of rhyme."

"Yes, yes. Some of the time."

"Stop that!" Kabuto said.

"Lee, are there any rocks ahead?" Sasuke inquire.

"If there are," Lee jokingly replied, "We'll all be dead."

"Stop that!" Kabuto shouted, "No more rhymes, I mean it!"

"Anybody want a peanut?" Lee responded as they sailed off.


	3. Chapter 3

The Kunoichi Bride

Chapter 3

I asked my Ouija Board if it was true that I didn't own Naruto or the Princess Bride. Its response was GOD FORBID.

As the ship sailed, Hinata had woken up and began struggling to escape.

"Don't bother," the grey-haired man said in a threatening voice, "That rope slowly drains your chakra."

"Kabuto," the swordsman said from his position at the back of the ship "Are you certain that we're not being followed?"

"It would be completely inconceivable, Sasuke," Kabuto replied, "No one in Suna knows what we've done, and no one in Konoha could prepare fast enough to catch us."

"You're severely underestimating Konoha shinobi," Hinata replied, "You will be caught. They have the most skilled trackers in all of the villages. Then, they will kill you for endangering one of their own."

"You should be more concerned about yourself," Kabuto said.

"Are you sure nobody's following us?" Sasuke asked as emphatically as one with an emotionless voice could.

"I promise you, it's absolutely, 100% inconceivable," Kabuto replied, "But, why do you ask?"

"Because, there is a boat right behind us."

Kabuto ran beside Sasuke and looked. A boat was following them, and on it was a man dressed in black, with a spot of orange on his face.

"It's probably just a local fisherman out for a late night butcher cruise… in eel infested waters," Kabuto tried to rationalize

Suddenly, there was a splash.

Hinata had dived overboard and was now trying to swim with both her hands tied. A shrieking noise was heard.

"Do you know what those are?" Kabuto asked maliciously, "those are the shrieking eels. They only get louder when they're about to feast on human flesh."

As he said this an eel charged the bound Hinata… and was smacked away by Lee, who quickly pulled Hinata out of the water. Kabuto then tied her so she could not jump again.

o-o

In the morning, Kabuto asked, "have we lost him?"

"No. He's still following us," Sasuke replied.

Kabuto looked visibly agitated and shouted "Inconceivable!"

"Awfully far for a fisherman to sail," Sasuke sarcastically continued.

"It doesn't matter," Kabuto responded, "See? The Cliffs of Insanity."

At this point, it's important to note that the Cliffs of Insanity were named that for a reason. There was no path up, except climbing, as one could not use chakra until they reached the top. Most shinobi couldn't climb it without aid of rope.

Kabuto then strapped himself, Sasuke, and the still bound Hinata to Lee and told him to climb a rope.

Meanwhile, a man in black with an orange fox mask on his face, and a hood over his head docked his boat and proceeded to follow the people on the rope.

"He's climbing the rope," Sasuke said, interested in the black speck beneath them.

"Climb faster!" Kabuto shouted to Lee.

The black speck was getting closer, and Sasuke saw an orange mask, though he couldn't make out what it was supposed to look like.

"He's gaining on us," he remarked, trying to sound disinterested despite his fascination at the speck's determination.

"Climb faster or you're fired!" Kabuto shouted. Lee picked up the pace and made it to the top. Kabuto pulled out a kunai and cut the line, causing the rope to fall. The trio looked over the edge, Hinata in Lee's arms, thus able to see as well. The speck was still climbing, using the rocks as his climbing tools.

"He didn't fall?" Kabuto mourned, "Inconceivable!"

"I don't think you know that inconceivable means can't be conceived, as it's clearly conceivable, as he thought of it in the first place, which means that, yes, it can be conceived," Sasuke said mockingly.

"Well, he's clearly seen the Hyuuga, and therefore must die. So, just stay behind and wait for him," Kabuto says, "If he falls, good. If not, kill him."

"He has a sword. I think I'll fight him with swords," Sasuke said.

"You know the hurry we're in!" Kabuto said.

"If I fight him with any jutsu, it won't be a fair fight," Sasuke said "I use a jutsu; it'll be over too quickly," Sasuke countered, "I can't in good conscience kill him with a jutsu."

"Fine," Kabuto said, "Once he's dead, meet up with us."

"Be careful, Sasuke," Lee said, "Men in masks are not to be trusted."

With that, the others left. Sasuke took out his sword and limbered up. Noticing that the black speck was significantly higher, yet not very close to getting up, he called down to him, saying, "Hello there! Slow going?"

"If you can't tell," the man in black said, "this is rather difficult, so if you could keep quiet, and leave me be for the moment, that would be nice."

"I don't suppose you could hurry up," Sasuke threw back.

"Look," the fox masked fellow said, "if you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope or tree branch, or find something useful to do."

"Yes, I could do that," Sasuke said, "There's a lot of rope up here, but I don't think you would trust me. I'm waiting here to kill you, you see."

"Ah. That does put a bit of a damper on our relationship," the man in black said.

"I promise that I won't kill you until you reach the top," Sasuke said casually.

"That's very touching, but, you'll just have to wait," the man in black responded sarcastically.

"I hate waiting," Sasuke responded, "What if I gave you my word as a samurai?"

"No good," the man in black replied, "I've known too many samurai."

"Is there any way you'll trust me?" Sasuke responded, eagerly anticipating the fight.

"Nothing comes to mind," the man in black replied.

Sasuke looked at the sword in his hand for a moment, and then said, "I swear on the souls of everyone in my family, the Uchiha clan; you will make it to the top alive."

"Toss me your rope," the man in black replied trustingly. Sasuke unraveled the long remainder of rope and tossed it to the man in black who made quick work of climbing up.

The man in black moved to unsheathe his sword once at the top, but Sasuke grabbed his forearm and said, "We'll wait until you're ready."

"Thank you," said Mr. Fox, which was what Sasuke mentally dubbed the man in black due to his fox mask. He proceeded to remove his boots and pour out several stones, and then put them back on.

"You don't happen to have six fingers on your right hand, do you, Mr. Fox?" Sasuke asked.

"Do you always begin conversations like this?" Mr. Fox responded.

"Yes. My entire family was slaughtered by a six-fingered man," Sasuke responded, "You see, my father was a brilliant sword maker of great talent. One day, the six-fingered man requested a specially made sword, so my father made it. When the six-fingered man came, he asked for the sword at half-price. My father refused, so the six-fingered man slew my father, entire family, except for me. I had picked up the sword and had charged at him, but he defeated me with a kunai, and said I was unfit to kill. But he gave me these."

Sasuke showed two slashes, one on each cheek and continued, "Ever since that day, I studied fighting, learning every style I could, so that one day, I can defeat him. When we meet again, I will tell him 'Hello, my name is Sasuke Uchiha. You killed my family. Prepare to die.'"

"And you've done nothing but study combat your whole life?" Mr. Fox asked, "What are you doing here, then?"

"It's been years, yet, I've still yet to find the six-fingered man. There's little money to be found in the 'avenger' business, so I work for Kabuto to pay the bills."

"I see," Mr. Fox said, "I hope you find him. I suppose it is time to fight."

"You're ready?" Sasuke asked, curiously.

"Even if I wasn't, you've been more than fair," Mr. Fox responded, unsheathing his sword.

"You seem like a decent fellow, Mr. Fox," Sasuke said, "I'd hate to kill you."

"You seem like a decent fellow, yourself," Mr. Fox returned, "I'd hate to die."

With that, they began to fight, though it seemed like they were training, or playing, as they kept aiming for the blade of each other's swords, as opposed to the swordsman, themselves.

"Ah, you're using 'Iruka's Defense' against me!" Sasuke shouted, noticing Mr. Fox's stance.

"I thought it fitting, given the rocky terrain," Mr. Fox responded, stepping to higher ground.

"Naturally, you must expect me to attack with 'Madara'," Sasuke replied following him.

"Naturally, but I find 'Namikaze' cancels out 'Madara'. Don't you?" Mr. Fox remarked, leaping down.

"Unless the opponents studied his 'Kakashi'," Sasuke replied as he did a flip over Mr. Fox, "Which I have."

The battle continued, leading to the cliff's edge, with Sasuke having nowhere to go but over the edge. Sasuke decided now was the time to play his trump card.

"I must admit, you are better at swordplay than I," Sasuke said, smirking.

"Then why are you smirking?" Mr. Fox asked.

"Because I know something you don't know. I am no mere swordsman."

With that, Sasuke substituted himself for a rock behind Mr. Fox and stabbed him in the shoulder, feeling wrong for such an underhand attack.

"That was… very good," Mr. Fox replied haltingly, "But there's something I have to tell you."

"What is that?" Sasuke asked.

"I'm no mere swordsman either," Mr. Fox said. Then, he disappeared in a puff of smoke, revealing himself to be a shadow clone. A look of surprise came across the Uchiha's face as he turned to see his worthy combatant holding a sword behind him. A great fight was about to ensue.

"Who are you, really, Mr. Fox?" Sasuke asked, his curiosity piqued by his opponent's skill.

"Nobody of consequence," Mr. Fox replied.

"I must know," Sasuke said amiably.

"Life is full of disappointments," Mr. Fox responded simply. Sasuke nodded in agreement and the battle continued.

Sasuke used multiple Chidori strikes, while Mr. Fox used multiple Rasengan strikes against him. Both dodged each other's strikes, kunai and shruriken thrown by their opponent. Then, Mr. Fox did the unexpected. He made 1000 shadow clones, and surrounded Sasuke.

Sasuke, acknowledging defeat, laid down his sword and asked Mr. Fox, "As I am going to die, will you avenge my family for me?"

"I would sooner destroy a beautiful porcelain statue than an artist such as yourself," Mr. Fox replied genuinely, "Still, as I can't have you following me…"

Sasuke felt the hilt of Mr. Fox's sword hit the base of his neck. Then, everything went black.


	4. Chapter 4

The Kunoichi Bride

Chapter 4

I still don't own either. Oh, well. It's not like that's gonna stop me from writing this nonprofit story.

"Kabuto," Lee said, "The man in black is following us again."

"He beat Sasuke?" Kabuto replied incredulously, "Inconceivable. You wait here, and deal with him your way. Then you come and find us."

"Okay," Lee said, "Thank you. What's my way?"

"Hide until he heads over here, holding a rock. When you see his head, hit it with the rock!" Kabuto yelled, carrying Hinata, who was still struggling.

"Oh," Lee said, as Kabuto left, "My way is most unyouthful."

o|-|o

Mr. Fox was running to follow the trail, when a rock flew right in front of him. He drew his sword, and pointed in the direction it flew from. Out stepped Lee, who was holding a new rock.

"I didn't have to miss," Lee said, "I could have hit you."

"I believe you," Mr. Fox, responded, "Now what?"

"I put down my rock, and you put down your sword and we fight youthfully. No tricks, no jutsus. Youthfully"

"So you want me to put down my sword and use normal levels of chakra, and you'll put down your rock, and we kill each other with our bare hands as nature intended?" Mr. Fox asked.

"I could kill you now," Lee replied, raising his rock.

Mr. Fox tossed his sword away and said, "I must say, Bushy Brows, you have the advantage here. Before we fight, what's your name? I like to know a person's name if we are going to kill each other."

"I'm Lee. As to my advantage, it's not my fault I'm this big. I don't even exercise."

They stood looking at each other for a moment, before Mr. Fox charged at Lee. Lee wasn't moved at all. Mr. Fox ran at him again, and tried to lift him. Lee still didn't budge.

"Are you just going to play with me?" Mr. Fox asked.

"I like to make people feel like they managed to do something" Lee replied, "I hate to have people die feeling unfulfilled."

Saying this, he lunged for Mr. Fox, who leapt away just before he could strike him.

"You're fast," Lee remarked, walking up to Mr. Fox, who was backing up.

"Good thing, too," Mr. Fox replied, leaping away from another swing.

"Why do you wear a mask?" Lee asked following him again, "Were you hit in the face by a fire jutsu?"

"Oh, no, they're just incredibly comfortable," Mr. Fox replied conversationally as he leapt away from another swing, "I think that everyone will be wearing them in the future."

Lee lunged at him again. This time, Mr. Fox slid from between his legs and then leapt onto Lee's back, tightly wrapping his arms around his throat.

"I think I figured out why you're causing me so much trouble, my youthful opponent," Lee said, banging Mr. Fox against a tall rock near them in an attempt to get him off.

"Do tell," Mr. Fox replied, curious about what the giant had to say.

"Well, you are one person, and I haven't fought just one person in a while," Lee replied, his breathing heavy, "Normally, I fight gangs for local charities."

"And why do you suppose that my being one person changes things," Mr. Fox said, his voice shaking every time he hit the boulder.

"Well, there are certain moves that you use when you're fighting half a dozen people," Lee said, dropping to his knees, his vision edging with black due to lack of oxygen, "that don't… work with… just… one…"

Lee collapsed, and, Mr. Fox flipped him on his back, checking for a heartbeat. Hearing one, he said, "I don't envy you the headache you will have when you wake up, but, until then, sleep well, and dream of large women."

o|-|o

"There were two shinobi here," Orochimaru said to the Anbu riding with him, and his companion, Itachi, "they had a magnificent battle, starting with swords, and then starting using differing jutsus after a while. They fought all over the terrain here, until one used a substitution. Then, the other used a shadow clone. The two then began to fight using mostly destructive jutsu strikes. Eventually one won."

"Then what happened?" Itachi asked, curiosity edging his voice.

"The winner, continued that way," Orochimaru said, pointing in one direction, "The loser fled."

"Do we follow both?" Itachi asked.

"Follow only the winner," Orochimaru said, "the loser is of no importance. If we find that the Sunans have harmed Hinata, I will be very put out."

o|-|o

Mr. Fox continued running, until he came upon a clearing where Kabuto and Hinata were seated at what appeared to be a picnic, with a bottle of wine and two chalices, her blindfolded, with a seal on the blindfold which prevented her from seeing through it, and him holding a kunai to her throat.

"That's close enough," Kabuto said, "For each step you take, I will push this kunai deeper."

"Perhaps we can strike a bargain?" Mr. Fox replied, walking closer, slowly and keeping his hands in the air.

"There is no bargain, and you're killing her. You've come to take what I've rightfully stolen, and I can't permit that," Kabuto returned harshly, pushing the kunai harder with each step that Mr. Fox took, causing him to stop moving forward.

"Well, then," Mr. Fox said, "It appears we're at an impasse."

"I'm afraid so," Kabuto replied condescendingly, "I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brain."

"You're that clever?" Mr. Fox replied curiously.

"Let me put it to you this way," Kabuto said, "Ever heard of Sarutobi, Pein, Madara?"

"Yes," Mr. Fox replied.

"Morons," Kabuto exclaimed derisively.

"If that's so, then, I challenge you to a game of wits," Mr. Fox replied.

"For the Hyuuga?" Kabuto asked incredulously.

Mr. Fox nodded.

"To the death?" Kabuto added.

Mr. Fox gave another nod.

"I accept," Kabuto said cockily.

"Then pour the wine," Mr. Fox replied. Kabuto obliged and filled the cups, curious as to what the challenge could be.

When the wine was poured, Mr. Fox took out a small vial, which held a white powder.

Uncorking it, he handed it to Kabuto, saying, "Look, but do not touch."

Kabuto carefully grabbed the vial, and sniffed from it, then said, "There's no scent."

"What you do not smell is called Iocaine powder," Mr. Fox replied, "It is odorless to even an Inuzuka, tasteless, to even a poison expert, and dissolves instantly in liquid."

Kabuto just nodded as Mr. Fox took the two chalices and turned away. When Mr. Fox turned back, he put the chalices back, and placed one in front of himself and the other in front of Kabuto.

"Now, where is the poison? The game of wits has begun," Mr. Fox said, "It will end when we drink and one of us is dead."

"It's so simple," Kabuto said, "All I need to do is determine from what I knowof you. Are you the kind of man to put the poison in his own chalice or not? Only a great fool would drink what was directly given to him, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me. But, you would have known that I'm not a great fool, so, you would have put the poison into your own chalice, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me. But, Iocaine powder comes from Uzu, and, as we both know, Uzu is full of criminals, and criminals are used to not being trusted, so, I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you."

"Your thought process is dizzying," Mr. Fox said sardonically.

"Wait 'til I get going!" Kabuto replied "You beat my giant, which proves you're exceptionally strong, so you might have put the poison in your own goblet, counting on your strength to save you, but you also beat my samurai, so, you must have studied, and in your studying you must have learned that man is mortal, and put the poison as far away from your body as possible."

"You're trying to get me to give something up. It won't work," Mr. Fox said with mirth in his voice.

"You've given away everything. I know where the poison is!" Kabuto replied.

"Then make your choice," Mr. Fox returned.

"I will. I choose… what in the world could that be!" Kabuto shouted, pointing behind Mr. Fox.

"What? Where?" Mr. Fox replied, turning away. Meanwhile, Kabuto switched glasses to see whether Mr. Fox would drink from his chalice, which would mean that his cup was the one without the poison, so, Kabuto could drink safely.

"I didn't see anything," Mr. Fox remarked, turning around.

"I could have sworn I saw something," Kabuto said, chuckling, "Oh, well. Let's drink. Me from my glass and you from yours."

"What's so funny?" Mr. Fox asked.

"I'll tell you in a minute," Kabuto said raising his glass.

Mr. Fox grabbed the chalice in front of him, and then took a drink from what he believed to be his cup, unknowingly letting Kabuto know his cup was safe to drink from. He drank the wine uncaringly and then placed the cup on the table.

"You guessed wrong," Mr. Fox said, amused.

"You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny!" Kabuto gloated, "I switched glasses while you back was turned! You fool! You've fallen prey to one of the classic blunders. The first one, which is well known, is never get in a land war in the desert. The second, which is only slightly less known, is this; never go into any battle with a missing nin, when death is on the line!"

Kabuto then fell over, dead. Mr. Fox walked up to Hinata and first removed the blindfold.

"Who are you?" Hinata asked, having never seen anyone using a fox mask, before.

"I'm nobody to be trifled with. That's all you need to know," Mr. Fox replied, "Also, please don't use your bloodline limit to look into my mask. I find that doing so would be poor etiquette, as I just got that blindfold off of you."

Hinata, obliging him this request as he removed the ropes from her hands, said, "All this time, it was really your chalice that held the poison."

"They were both poisoned," Mr. Fox replied, removing the bindings from her legs, "I've spent the last few years developing an immunity to Iocaine powder, believe it. Now, we really must be going."

The pair then ran off, to wherever it was they were going.

o|-|o

"Someone has beaten a giant" Orochimaru said, looking at the large man-shaped indentation in the ground, "We're getting close."


	5. Chapter 5

Kunoichi Bride

Chapter 5

Well, I don't think that I'll possess ownership of either of the copyrights to these works anytime soon. Oh, well. Things will start getting a bit more different from the film in Chapter 6.

Mr. Fox and Hinata had been running for quite some time. Then, at some point, noticing that Hinata, who hadn't slept in a while, was slowing down, Mr. Fox stopped and harshly said, "Rest, Miss Hyuuga."

"The others were rather blunt in explaining why they kidnapped me," Hinata said, "But, I don't think you want me dead, just yet. Why are you taking me? You've left me unbound, and capable to leave when you fall asleep."

"I see that Konoha doesn't grow them as poorly as the Missing Nin's forest does," Mr. Fox replied, "As such, I don't want to explain, as that will keep you up at nights if you leave."

"You know that I'm from Konoha, so you must know who I am engaged to, and that he will search for me, alongside several Anbu. You will get caught."

"Perhaps," Mr. Fox replied, "but, that just makes this game more exciting. Doesn't it?"

O-|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||-O

Orochimaru walked along the path near a table where a dead missing nin lay. He came across a container, and tried to get a scent off of it, but got nothing.

"Mr. Inuzuka," Orochimaru said, "Come get the odor off of this."

Kiba stepped off of his large dog, Akumaru, and, holding the container a few inches away from his face, tried to get a scent off of the container.

"The outside smells like the dead missing nin and… No, it couldn't be," he remarked confusedly to himself. He then tried to get a further scent, but got nothing, which could only mean…

"Iocaine powder," he said loudly, "There's no scent whatsoever, so that's all that it could possibly be."

"Very good," Orochimaru said, "And did you get the scent of the one who held it?"

"That's the problem, sir," Kiba replied, "It seems to smell like a fox."

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"Judging by your treatment of me," Hinata remarked, "You're no missing nin, as you would have killed me by now. And you're clearly no common bandit, as you speak as one who's doesn't care if he lives. You seem quite comfortable with giving orders. As such you can only be some sort of leader."

"Very good, madam," he replied, "you're quicker than that missing nin, believe it."

Ignoring his comment, Hinata harshly said, "Your mask is a fox. You're the Dread Bandit Kyuubi, aren't you?"

"We have a winner!" Mr. Fox said sardonically, "What can I do for you?"

"Well," Hinata said, trying to keep calm, "I think that cutting yourself to ten thousand pieces would be a sufficient, before you discover a method to kill yourself one thousand times."

"That's… actually rather creative," Mr. Fox replied, "Why must I be the one to do that?"

"You killed the one I love," she replied.

"Really?" Mr. Fox replied, "I've killed many people. Was he rich?"

"No," Hinata said nostalgically, "he was an orphaned genin. He was perfect."

"And one day, he was travelling with a caravan when you and your 'team' came upon them. You never let captives go alive," she continued in a bitter voice.

"Of course not," he replied, "If word got around that a bandit has gone soft, then, people start to disobey, and then, it's work, work, work all the time, believe it."

"You mock my pain," Hinata returned angrily.

"Life is pain, Miss Hyuuga," Mr. Fox responded comically, "Anyone who says otherwise is selling something. You can't change fate."

If Hinata didn't know better, she would say that he was parodying her cousin Neji's incessant spiel about fate from when they were younger. Which, judging by the fact that Mr. Fox had probably never met Neji, clearly wasn't the case.

"As it is, I think I actually remember your genin," Mr. Fox remarked reminiscently "Was his name Naruto? Would it bother you to know how he died?"

"No," she replied softly, "Nothing could bother me anymore."

"He died well," he remarked, his voice filled with the memory, "No attempt at bribery, and no blubbering. He just said 'Please'.

"The please is actually what made me stop. I asked him what was so important that he had to live for.

"'True love,' he said. Then, he spoke of a beautiful maiden with endless faithfulness, presumably you. You should thank me for destroying him. If he'd know what you really are, he would have been crushed."

"What am I?" Hinata asked curtly.

"Faithfulness is what he spoke of most, your enduring faithfulness" Mr. Fox returned, his voice sounding oddly bitter, "Tell me truly, did you get engaged to the future Hokage immediately after receiving news of his demise, or did you wait a full week out of respect for the dead?"

"You mocked me once, don't mock me further!" Hinata returned, her emotions finally escaping, "I died that day!"

Mr. Fox turned and saw some Anbu from Konoha riding along the other side of the edge of the basin that they were in front of. Then, he turned to Hinata and was about to speak, when he saw her eyes were white with the veins around them bulging. Seeing this, he seemed so scared that, even though he was wearing a full face fox mask and was covered from head to toe in black, he visibly paled.

"And you can die, too for all I care," she said vehemently as she delivered a powerful strike to his chest, knocking out all of his, causing him to fly over the edge at the same time. At that point, he hit the ground and started rolling to the bottom.

"AS… YOU… OOPH… WISH!" he shouted as he fell.

Hinata froze. Only one person ever used those words on her.

"Naruto," she whispered, before sliding down the hill to catch him, which, as she fell, she began to question the intelligence of this, as she could have just as easily used her chakra to leap to the bottom of the basin.

As they fell, Mr. Fox's hood fell back, revealing his blond hair, while his mask fell off revealing Naruto's animal whiskered face. When Hinata rammed into him, he grabbed her tightly and began using his own body to cushion wherever she was going to hit during their tumble. When they stopped, he was lying on top of her, holding her in a gentle embrace.

"Can you walk?" Naruto asked Hinata, concerned for her well-being.

"You're alive," Hinata replied happily, "If you want, I could fly."

"Why didn't you wait for me?" he gently asked.

"You were dead," Hinata answered.

"Death can't stop true love," Naruto replied lovingly, "It can only delay it."

"I will never doubt again," she smiled.

"There will never be a need," he returned, pulling her closer into their embrace.


	6. Chapter 6

Kunoichi Bride

Chapter 6

Well, I don't own either of the stories, but, I will keep writing this story, because I want to keep writing this. Things will start deviating from the Princess Bride from this point on. Also, certain characters will be mentioned, but, as with other characters: creative license.

Naruto and Hinata ran into the Fire Swamp, as Orochimaru and the Anbu he had with him headed to the edge of the cliff.

"Your snake fiancée is too late," Naruto said, "We're safe in the Fire Swamp."

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"They've entered the Fire Swamp," Orochimaru said watching them run into the place of death, "He's slipping up. That's the only way to account for his error. Mr. Inuzuka, Mr. Nara: You two must wait here, in case they try to head back."

"How troublesome," Shikamaru said, "I will stay here, with Kiba, though."

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"The Kyuubi's Team is waiting just at the edge of the Fire Swamp, and I, as you know am the Dread Bandit Kyuubi," Naruto said cheerily, swinging his sword to clear a path to get out.

"But how?" Hinata asked, "The Dread Bandit Kyuubi has been attacking people for 80 years, and you've been only gone 5 years."

"I admit, I was as confused as you are," Naruto said, "What I said about saying 'please' was true. The Dread Bandit Kyuubi was so moved, that he let me live.

"'Alright Naruto' he said, 'Never had a genin as a valet. I'll most likely kill you in the morning.'

"Every day, he'd have me work, and on my time off I'd learn whatever I could from his Team. And each night, he'd say, 'Good night, Naruto. You did a good job. I'll most likely kill you in the morning.'

"And then, one day, it happened. The Dread Bandit Kyuubi called me into his 'office' in his base.

"'I'm not the Dread Bandit Kyuubi,' he said, 'My name is Teuchi, and the man I inherited the title from wasn't the Dread Bandit Kyuubi either. His name was Kisame.'

"Teuchi explained to me that it was the name of the demon that was important. Nobody would be afraid of the Dread Bandit Naruto. Toppings just aren't good names for scary Bandits."

Suddenly, Hinata leapt sharply, noticing lightning-sand in front of her. At the same time, Naruto leapt away from a sudden burst of fire.

"Well, those could have gone much worse," Naruto remarked.

Suddenly, a giant rat jumped out of nowhere and bit Naruto on the right shoulder, causing him to drop his sword. Hinata then lifted the sword, and slashed at the rat, causing it to fall off of Naruto. When he was clear of the rodent, Hinata tossed him the sword, as they stood back to back, waiting for it to get up or summon help. It began to limp towards them, until Naruto stabbed it in the side, while Hinata kicked it into a fire that sputtered to life.

"I love you," Naruto said breathily, as he wrapped his good arm around her.

The pair walked further through the forest, when Naruto suddenly said, "Oh, let me tell you about my team. First, there's my chuunin 'sister', Sakura. She's a very skilled medic from Oto, who is strong enough to send a person flying for yards, believe it. She once decked an entire team in front of me just by hitting one of them. Don't ask her about the ragdoll, though. She'll start talking to it about it. Kakashi is our jounin. He wears several identical masks over his face, all of which cover his face except for his right eye. He actually comes from Konoha and knows 1,000 jutsus, believe it. By the way, what's been happening in Konoha? Kakashi said he left 'while the getting was good'."

"Well, some ninja have gone missing since Orochimaru began to fill in for Sarutobi-sama. Some are found dead, and others are just gone. They have evidently run off, judging by your jounin," Hinata said.

"That explains the sudden rise in bandits and missing nin," Naruto remarked, as he walked out of the swamp, "Now I'm wondering…"

"Stop right there," Orochimaru said, while he and the Anbu were holding kunai pointing at Naruto. Suddenly, Itachi came out of nowhere and tossed Hinata onto Orochimaru's saddle, while Orochimaru and the other Anbu rode off, Hinata struggling all the way.

"Well, why don't we go find your team, as your services are no longer required," Itachi said.

"Don't lie to me," Naruto replied calmly, "We are men of action; you and I. Lies do not become us."

"True," Itachi agreed.

Noticing similarity to the samurai he'd previously encountered, Naruto looked at Itachi's right hand and said, "You have six fingers on your right hand. Somebody's looking for you, believe it."

With that, Itachi knocked out Naruto with the base of his sword.


	7. Chapter 7

Kunoichi Bride

Chapter 7

I don't own Naruto or The Princess Bride. Blast. Oh well. It's not like I need the rights to write a fanfic.

Naruto awoke chained to a stone table in an odd wooden room to hear a man walk in. Turning his head, he saw a man who had a skull cap and two scars walking in.

"Where am I?" Naruto asked, noticing the chains had chakra blocking seals written on it.

"The Pit of Despair. Don't even think…" the scarred man rasped. He then paused and cleared his throat, his voice going deep, "Don't even think about trying to escape. It's hidden somewhere nobody would look."

"So, I'm here to die?" Naruto asked calmly.

"Well, basically," the man replied, "Sorry about the raw deal. You seem like a decent fellow. I'm sorry you're about to be Itachi's plaything."

"I can take torture," Naruto replied calmly.

"Not the machine," the man said.

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"Hinata is so worn out from her kidnapping, Mr. Nara," Orochimaru said in his study, "She's under the affect of a powerful genjutsu which makes her believe that she is friends with her kidnapper. As such, she's currently confined to her chambers."

"How troublesome," Shikamaru said, "Will she feel better soon? Her teammates are worried."

"She should be fine by the wedding. Actually, that is what I wanted to talk to you about. I've heard that the people of the Missing Nin's Forest are amassing to attack. I want you and your teammates to find as many shinobi to clear it out."

"Yes, sir," Shikamaru said.

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"Well," Itachi said, while he was walking in the forest with Orochimaru, "He's healed up quite nicely. Would you like to come observe the machine in action?"

"I haven't seen you torture someone since I ordered Kabuto to kill Hinata," Orochimaru said, "But, I can't go. I have a wedding to plan, a wife to murder and Suna to blame for it. I'm overbooked."

With that, Itachi tapped a secret not in a very wide tree, revealing an entrance. As he entered the chamber, the scarred man stepped out; not wanting to see what would come.

"Well," Naruto said, "if it isn't the sociopathic weasel."

"It seems you know of my hobby of causing pain," Itachi remarked, strapping different wires to him, "well, this is an interesting machine. It causes your chakra to overflow, making you feel the most intense pain possible. I'm setting it to 50, which I'm particularly eager to see the effects of."

So saying, he activated the switch, causing Naruto to scream in agony, until the boy suddenly had a red aura form about him, and he began to show vulpine reactions. Itachi, clever enough to not stay, ran out of the room, locking the door behind him.

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The Forest was getting cleared out as quickly as possible, with some private contractors helping gather the missing nin into wagons to get them in the prisons until the wedding was complete.

All that was left was one spot in the forest where a drunken samurai lay, drinking sake.

"You need to leave," an Anbu said to him.

"I'm waiting for Kabuto. When a job went wrong, he would say to go back to the beginning," Sasuke slurred, getting up and drawing his sword shakily.

"You. Behemoth," the man said to the figure nearing Sasuke, "get him out of here."

"I'm waiting for my boss," Sasuke mumbled, falling on a green garbed giant.

"His death is not a loss," Lee said, smiling at his friend. The Anbu tried to charge them, but, Lee hit him on the head, taking him into the cottage to nurse him back to health.

The methods were… efficient. Lee informed Sasuke of Itachi, and how he was the six-fingered man while dunking his head in buckets of scalding hot and freezing cold water.

"How many are guarding the castle?" he asked.

"300," Lee said.

"How many can you take?" he asked, drying his face off.

"Only 100," he admitted.

"That would leave 200 for me. At my best, I couldn't take them all. We're going to need Kabuto," Sasuke said, thinking of how the man always had a plan.

"Kabuto is dead," Lee said.

"Then, we need Mr. Fox," he said.

"Mr. Fox?" Lee asked curiously.

"He defeated you with strength, and me with sword and jutsu," he explained, "and he clearly bested Kabuto with wit. Such a man can lead my vengeance quest any day. Let's start looking."

Suddenly, they heard the sound of a person screaming in agony.

"Do you hear that, Lee?" Sasuke asked, "My heart made that sound with each murder of a member of my family. That is the sound of ultimate suffering. Mr. Fox makes it now, as the woman he loves is about to get married."

"What makes you say that he loves Ms. Hyuuga?" Lee asked.

"Well, why else would he go that far to get her?" Sasuke returned.

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Eventually, Sasuke and Lee arrived to the sound of the screaming, to find a man with scars on his face walking with an empty wheelbarrow.

"Where is Mr. Fox?" Sasuke asked, sword against the man's throat.

"There's a secret entrance in that wide tree," the man said calmly, "He's currently unconscious, so use this wheelbarrow to get him out of there before he wakes up."

With that, he left, leaving the wheelbarrow.

When Lee and Sasuke got in, they tried to lift Mr. Fox in order to get him out of there into the wheelbarrow, but he woke up, his face showing red eyes with cat-like slits in them. Then, much to his rescuers' surprise, he got on all fours began to growl like a fox.

"We don't have time for this," Sasuke said, "Come on, Mr. Fox. If you come, we'll fix you up back to normal quickly. There's bound to be a medic who can help, somewhere in this forest."

As he said this, he and Lee led Mr. Fox out of the forest.

Unfortunately, that was as far as they got. A pink-haired girl, about their age, holding a small cloth doll of herself in one hand and holding a fist with the other and a man dressed in a jounin outfit with a black mask was close to her, reaching for a kunai with one hand and the left eye of his mask stood in Sasuke and Lee's way.

"What have you done to Kyuubi?" the man said, his voice sounding dangerous.

"Wait, Kakashi-Sensei," the girl said, "leave them to me."

Suddenly, she put the doll in Kakashi's hand and began strangling Lee, while Sasuke watched in horror as "Kakashi" held him back.

Just as suddenly, the she-devil paused, looking at the doll, and said, "You're right, Sakura-Chan, we shouldn't kill them, because they're about to tell us what happened to our brother."

Suddenly, she turned to Sasuke, releasing Lee, and looking deviously innocent as she asked in a falsely sweet voice, which threatened death at the slightest sign of deception, "What's wrong with Kyuubi?"


	8. Chapter 8

The Kunoichi Bride

Chapter 8

Still don't own anything of either of these intellectual properties.

"Kyuubi?" Sasuke asked, "That's Mr. Fox's real name? You mean to tell me that I've been calling him by his real name this entire time."

"As far as you're concerned," Kakashi replied simply.

"I'll ask one more time," the girl said, "What's wrong with Kyuubi?"

"We're not sure," Lee said, rubbing his throat, "he was like this when he found us."

"Sakura-chan, is he telling the truth?" she asked, turning to the doll that her teacher still held, "Really? 'The cute one has been drinking?' That's all well and good, but is the giant telling the truth? Really? Then what? Ah-ha… What can we do then?"

As she waited for a response from the doll, Sasuke headed to Lee to check on him.

"Are you okay?" he asked his enormous friend.

"I did not expect someone so small to beat me," Lee replied, "Evidently I need to start training. Is she really talking to that doll?"

"You don't want to know," the one-eyed bandit interrupted.

"Do either of you have any money on you?" the girl asked.

"We have 29 ryo between us," Lee responded, not wanting to be strangled.

"What're you thinking of, Sakura?" Kakashi asked.

"Sakura-chan says we need to buy a miracle from a Sannin," she responded taking the doll from him.

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"You called us, sir?" Shikamaru asked as he, Ino and Chouji entered Orochimaru's study.

"Yes," Orochimaru said, looking from the blond kunoichi, round shinobi, and lazy genius, "I have thought to myself that there is not enough security for the wedding. I would like you three to personally lead the security division for this wedding."

"How troublesome," Shikamaru muttered, earning a smack from Ino as Chouji stood there watching in amusement and horror.

"What he means," Ino said, "Is we're honored to do this."

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Sasuke knocked at the door, banging on it until the door opened, revealing a blond woman with a red diamond on her forehead.

"What do you want?" she asked angrily.

"Are you the Slug Sannin Tsunade who works for the Hokage?" Sasuke asked

"I was, until Orochimaru got me kicked out," she responded, "Thanks for bringing that up."

"We need a miracle," Sasuke replied, "and you're a great medic, if the rumors are true. Of course, rumors tend to just be elaborate lies, so if that's true, we're sorry for wasting your time."

"I'm every bit as good as the stories say!" she responded, offended, "Bring them in."

When she said this, Lee came with Sakura and Kakashi, who were holding a snarling Naruto down to the wheelbarrow that Lee was pushing. As soon as they got him in, Tsunade said, "What do you need him fixed for? I don't do charity work, or anything less than 50 ryo. Unless it's for a noble cause."

"His wife is… crippled, and his children are starving," Sasuke lied.

"And you're a horrible liar," she responded.

"I need him for an elaborate revenge plan to avenge my entire clan, slaughtered by a man with six fingers. I don't know what the pink one and the cyclops need him for."

"You're first story was better," she returned, not believing him, "I'll ask him myself."

"He's feral."

"Look who knows so much…" she responded, pumping a bit of chakra into Naruto. Then, addressing Naruto, she asked "what do you have here that makes you stay in the world of the living in this condition?"

"True… love…" he muttered before snarling again.

"He's got an odd chakra signature," Tsunade remarked.

"He holds the demon fox, in a seal on his stomach," Sakura responded, stroking Sakura-chan's hair, "at least that's what Sakura-chan keeps telling me."

"He said true love," Kakashi remarked, "Surely that's cause enough to save him."

"True love is indeed a noble cause," Tsunade said, "but, he clearly said to 'bluff', so he must have cheated you guys at cards."

"Liar!" an older man shouted, entering the room, pointing at Tsunade, "Liar! He said true love, and you know it!"

"Get back, Jiraiya, you pervert!" Tsunade responded.

"I'm not just a pervert, I'm your wife! I mean 'your husband'!" he returned, "And considering what I just heard, I don't think I want to be either! He said true love and you know it."

Turning to Sasuke, Jiraiya said, "She just got demoralized since Orochimaru got her fired."

"Don't say that name!" Tsunade shouted.

"Orochimaru, Orochimaru, Orochimaru!" he returned, before she punched him to the next room.

"This man's true love is Hinata Hyuuga!" Sasuke said, thinking quickly, "If you help him, Orochimaru will be humiliated."

"Complete embarrassment?" she asked.

"Humiliations galore," Sakura said, staring at Tsunade directly.

"Give me a couple minutes," Tsunade said gleefully, leaving the room to get Jiraiya and supplies.

"I'm really enjoying having you around," Sasuke said when Tsunade left the room, turning to Sakura, "Even if you are kind of insane."

"Said the boy who spent his life learning to kill his brother," she responded, Sakura-chan's eyes on him.

"How did you…?" he began.

"Sakura-chan knows everything," she interrupted.

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"Well, that was fast," Kakashi remarked, "I always thought that one couldn't rush a miracle."

"Yeah, but, we're ninjas," Tsunade replied, "Now, feed him this in half an hour, and he'll be up and running in no time. Now, go have fun storming that village."

"Yes, ma'am," Lee responded, giving a heroic pose before they left.

"Those were nice kids," Jiraiya said, "Do you think it'll work?"

"It'll take a miracle," Tsunade replied, "Now, let's go get some sake."


	9. Chapter 9

Kunoichi Bride

I still don't own Naruto or the Princess Bride. Or the Wonka Factory. They belong to their respective owners. I really could go for chocolate right about now.

Chapter 9

"Well, I'd say that we can give Mr. Fox the medicine right about now," Sasuke commented.

"But Tsunade-sama said to wait for half an hour, and it's only been twenty-four minutes," Lee stated in his loud voice as they settled themselves on the outside wall of Konoha, in an area that was foolishly left unguarded, while Naruto was still clawing at the muzzle they had put on him in order to keep him quiet.

"Quiet down, Leviathan," Sakura hissed, turning Sakura-Chan sharply to face Lee, "even if Sakura-Chan agrees with you, you are being too loud."

"I must agree with the samurai," Kakashi stated, "He usually heals quickly."

"Why do Sharingan wielders always have to agree with each other?" Sakura bemoaned, taking the cure out of her bag, "Fine. Have it your way. Don't blame me or Sakura-Chan for what happens next, though."

"You have a Sharingan?" Sasuke and Kakashi asked at the same time.

"How did you get yours?" Kakashi asked.

"I'm an Uchiha! I'm supposed to have it!" Sasuke shouted.

"Quiet down," Sakura stated, setting Sakura-Chan on the ground, causing Lee to edge away from her, while Sasuke stopped shouting, not wanting to see what she would do next.

"How did you get your Sharingan?" he asked in a calmer voice.

"I was a teammate of Obito Uchiha, before the Uchiha clan left Konoha," Kakashi murmured quietly, "When he died, he told Rin, our other teammate to implant his Sharingan eye in my eye, as my eye had been lost in that battle."

"Enough with the discussion on the eyes," Sakura said, "Are we feeding this to him now, or are we waiting two more minutes."

"Now," Sasuke said, "What difference could two minutes make?"

When he said this, Sakura removed the muzzle and shoved the pill into Naruto's mouth as he attempted to scream like a fox.

As the pill went down his throat, his eyes turned blue, with a slight tint of red still in them. Seeing only Sasuke and Lee, as Sakura and Kakashi had moved behind him to grab him if the pill hadn't taken effect, he began to try to get up, shouting, "I'll tear you both apart! I'll kill you both together!"

Before he could continue, he saw Sakura-Chan still on the ground and said "I take it my teammates are behind me, holding me so that I can't attack you. Okay then, Sakura, what's going on."

"Let me explain," Sasuke said.

"That'd take too long," Sakura interrupted, "Let me summarize. You were made feral by some form of torture device, which is why you can't really stand at the moment. Hinata is going to be forced to marry Orochimaru, who's increased the guards to 800. We are going to storm the village to get you your lady love back, while Sasuke, that's the cute one, if he hadn't told you his name, yet, goes to kill his brother, Itachi, to avenge his clan and then claim whatever is left of his family estate."

"What have I got to work with?" Naruto asked, trying to formulate a plan of attack.

"My skill, Lee's strength, Kakashi's Sharingan alongside mine, your wit, and Sakura's brute violence," Sasuke replied.

"And Sakura-Chan and my skill at genjutsu," Sakura added.

"Even with those assets, we couldn't storm the village without a month of preparation," Naruto remarked, "If only we had a wheelbarrow…"

"You're lying in a most youthful wheelbarrow," Lee said simply.

"Why didn't you list that among our assets? I suppose that it would be the paramount of foolishness to ask of any of you have Akatsuki cloaks."

"I have three," Kakashi said, "Don't you remember that time they came for you, and we killed those who didn't relent?"

"We could have a perfect plan if we only had Madara's Mask," Naruto said.

"It's one of the only other things I was able to take with me other than the sword," Sasuke said.

"You know," Naruto said, "We have a lot more assets than you were all claiming a moment ago. This is convenient, but, still, you could have listed them much earlier."

"I think that our youthful leader makes a point," Lee stated, "What is the plan."

"Oh, it's going to be good," Naruto said.

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Inside of Konoha, the wedding was about to begin, with the Hyuuga not attending for some reason, while several shinobi stood watch for any sign of mischief.

"I'm telling you," Kiba said, "I smelled Naruto when we were searching for Hinata."

"How can you be certain that your hypothesis is correct without any verification that points to it other than the fact that you smelled a scent that seemed to be his?" Shino asked.

"Does anyone else we've ever met smelled like a fox?" Kiba returned.

"There was not," Shino admitted.

"And then," Kiba pressed, on, "who else would be looking for Hinata without Konoha knowing about it? He's been gone for a couple years, now."

"Well, then what happened to him after he found her?" Shino asked, "If she could get Naruto back, Hinata wouldn't be marrying Orochimaru."

"That's what's bugging me, no offence," Kiba said, not wanting to insult his bug user friend, "Naruto's trail ends outside of the Forest of Death. The question is where did he go? Unfortunately for us, our 'sister' has been trapped in the Hokage Tower ever since she got back. The only thing I can think is that Orochimaru disappeared him after they got Hinata back."

Suddenly, an explosion tore open the gates of Konoha, revealing three individuals, two of whom were dressed in Akatsuki cloaks, one with a spiral mask, and another, who was taller than the others, had a fox mask. The third was a male everyone was familiar as he was Kakashi, the Copy Cat Nin.

"Behold the Dread Bandit Kyuubi!" the one with the fox mask shouted, "I, alongside the great immortal, Madara Uchiha, have met with the Copy Cat Nin and have deemed Konoha worthy of destruction! Now, we are here. But soon you will not be here."

"Do we light the Behemoth ablaze yet," Sakura asked, sounding a bit too enthused.

"No, wait a bit longer," Naruto responded, "now keep pushing the wheelbarrow, we need to get him closer.

"I leave no survivors," the one with the spiral mask said, activating his Sharingan.

Upon this statement, many of the shinobi began to run, having heard the stories of both men. Only Shikamaru, Ino, Chouji, Kiba, Shino, a girl named Tenten, Hinata's cousin Neji, and the Green Beast, Gai, remaining. As they drew closer to the attackers, a voice cried out, "We have no quarrel with you."

As the voice said that, the cloaks came off, revealing a samurai with an active Sharingan, a giant who looked oddly like Gai, and a pink-haired girl who had a creepily realistic ragdoll of herself that seemed to be moving slightly, who was behind the giant.

"We seek to repay a transgression that Orochimaru have performed against our leader," the girl stated calmly, cuddling the doll in a rather scary way.

"And I am here to kill Itachi Uchiha in order to avenge my clan, the Uchiha clan, which he should no longer be considered a part of," the samurai said.

"Surely revenge is rather unyouthful," Gai said.

"No," the giant said, "It would be unyouthful to allow them to ignore their crimes, as the go against the Will of Fire."

"You are most youthful," Gai stated, looking at the giant, "I wish to take you as my apprentice so that we can spread the youthfulness into the world."

"Well, this is all well and good, but they are invading Konoha with violent intent."

"What's the matter?" a voice behind the intruders asked, "Is it against fate to let us through? Then again, if fate was real, then fighting it is the only worthy cause, isn't it?"

"Naruto," Kiba remarked, "It's been a while, hasn't it, fox-boy."

"Too long, mutt," the voice responded, "You caught my scent when you were searching for Hinata, right?"

"Of course," Kiba said, turning to the others, "Shikamaru open the gate."

"How troublesome," Shikamaru responded, reaching for the key, "Well, we hope there won't be anyone storming the tower. There seems to be something far away from here that probably needs all of our attention. Let's go look for whatever it is that so far away."

With that, the entire group left the area.

"Well," Sakura said, "I think we can storm the tower, now."

"This should be fun," Kakashi stated.

"Now, let's go," Naruto commented, leaning on Sakura for support.


	10. Chapter 10

The Kunoichi Bride

Chapter 10

I don't own either of the stories used in this nonprofit story, which couldn't ever be made outside of fanfiction, thereby not making this story possible outside of this sort of thing.

At long last, I have finished this fanfic! Thank you to all that read this story. I'm glad that so many of you enjoyed it!

"Marriage," a priest said with a pronounced speech impediment began, "Marriage is what brings us together today."

Suddenly, an explosion occurred just outside of the building.

"Naruto is here," Hinata told Orochimaru, smirking at him despite the chakra blocking restraints on her wrists, hidden in her sleeves.

"That's impossible," he responded with a smirk of his own, "He's dead. I killed him myself."

"Then, why are you so scared?" she mocked.

Meanwhile, the priest was continuing, while Orochimaru summoned Itachi to him.

"We seem to be having a mild pest infestation," he told the Uchiha, "Go deal with it."

"Yes, sir," Itachi responded.

Turning to the priest, Orochimaru said, "Just say man and wife!"

"Man and wife!" the priest said, following orders.

Sarutobi then proceeded to lead his successor's bride to her chambers. She paused for a moment, causing the old Hokage to turn and ask, "Dear child, what is the problem?"

"I do not wish to be married to Orochimaru, so I plan to kill myself, rather than be his wife."

The Professor's face took on an appearance of concern until he decided that the girl must be joking in order to get over her wedding jitters, as marriage could not be that bad.

* * *

><p>"Well," Kakashi said, pulling out the copy of Icha Icha that he always, "I haven't been here in a while."<p>

"Do you have to take that out?" Sakura asked, straightening her gloves to get ready for combat, while Sakura-Chan sat on her shoulder.

"Those books are most unyouthful," Lee stated.

"Well, we might die soon, so, why not?" Kakashi responded.

"Can we just get to killing?" Sasuke stated, not wanting to hear this debate.

"I for one agree with the samurai," Naruto said, whiskers twitching, "As a matter of fact, I'd recommend starting the killing right now"

Suddenly, Itachi and several guards arrived, wielding a variety of weapons to fight the group.

Sakura was the first to move, walking up to the guards calmly, smiling innocently, while they smirked to themselves at how ridiculous she looked.

At least, they did until she punched one of the guards so hard he crashed through the wall of the tower, probably completely shattered. She was quickly followed by Lee who began pummeling any who got close to him. Kakashi began to use Chidori without any real care, blasting at anyone who could be a threat.

Sasuke was sticking close to Naruto until he saw Itachi and drew his sword, charging at him, Sharingan activated. Itachi's Sharingan was also activated, his sword also drawn, but, much to Sasuke's surprise, he threw down his sword and ran away, causing Sasuke to chase him.

Sakura was suddenly cornered, several kunai pointed at her. Her expression went blank, until she suddenly got a devilish smirk on her face.

"Well, Sakura," she said in an eerily sweet voice, "I think it's time I came out to play with your friends. It's my turn."

She proceeded to attack all of the guards in a beautiful display of death and general lack of concern of the well-being of anyone in her path. Once all of them were dead, she got the blank expression again and she returned to her normal expression, turning to the doll on her shoulder and saying, "I could have handled it! Yes, I know, but I wanted to be the one to kill them. I know you wanted to kill something for the past few weeks. Fine. The cute one's trying to get through the door around the corner? Well, I'll go deal with that. Kakashi, Lee! Keep an eye on Naruto! I'm off to help our side's Uchiha!"

Neither gave any indication that they heard her, but she left all the same. When she got to Sasuke, she saw that he was hitting the door with fire jutsu after fire jutsu with no effect. She grabs him and moves him behind her as she pounds on the door with as much force as she can. With one hit, the door is no longer an obstacle, so she and he continue on, him leading, as it was his vendetta, not hers.

* * *

><p>Kakashi finished off the last of the guards while Lee went back to where they had left Naruto in order to collect him.<p>

"Where is he?" Kakashi asked Lee, as the giant looked at the spot that was currently lacking a demon container.

"I don't know," the giant admitted.

* * *

><p>Hinata sat in her chamber, ready to plunge the kunai into her chest when suddenly a familiar voice said, "There is very little perfection in this world. It'd be a shame to mar one of the few examples of it and end it entirely."<p>

Turning, she saw Naruto on her bed, curled up like a fox, a sword near his hand.

"Naruto-kun!" she shouted, running beside him onto the bed. When she made it to her beloved, she began to passionately kiss him repeatedly, while he purred.

"Naruto-kun, I was forced to marry Orochimaru," she wept, "I'm so sorry!"

"Did you say 'I do?'" he asked gently.

"No, but…" she began, only to be cut off by Naruto.

"If you didn't say it, then you're not married. Isn't that right, Orochimaru?"

"A grave mistake that will be corrected," the Snake Sannin said.

* * *

><p>Sasuke ran at Itachi, Sakura nearby, when Itachi withdrew a shuriken and hit Sasuke in the stomach, causing him to slump over in pain.<p>

"To think, brother," Itachi said, "You spent your entire life chasing me, and now, it was all worth nothing."

"You are no brother of mine," Sasuke responded harshly.

As he said this, Itachi began to lunge for his brother with his sword, until he was suddenly punched clear across the room by an angry Sakura, who then shouted, "You're not going to kill my future husband!"

Sasuke, while glad for the assistance when he needed it the most, raised his eyebrows in surprise. 'Future husband?' This girl was very forward, wasn't she?

While Itachi began to pry himself from the Itachi-shaped dent in the wall, Sakura went up to Sasuke and pulled out the shuriken.

"What are you doing?" Sasuke asked, putting pressure on his now exposed wound.

"Would you rather it healed at a natural pace?" Sakura said, her hands showing green chakra as she moved her hands closer to the wound, "Trust me, I'm a medic."

He moved his hands, letting her fix the wound. Once it was healed, thanked her and ran at Itachi, who had just extricated himself from the wall.

"Hello," he said, "My name is Sasuke Uchiha. You killed my family, prepare to die."

Itachi backed off, trying to use _Tsukuyomi on Sasuke, hoping to break his mind._ Unfortunately for him, the kunoichi that was accompanying Sasuke threw the shuriken he had thrown at Sasuke at him, causing a gash in his forehead which caused blood to fill his vision as it poured over his eyes.

Sasuke took this opportunity to continue to press his brother back, focusing on using the sword, the symbol of his vendetta against Itachi.

"Hello! My name is Sasuke Uchiha! You killed my family! Prepare to die!"

"Stop saying that!" Itachi shouted, getting afraid.

"HELLO! MY NAME IS SASUKE UCHIHA! YOU KILLED MY FAMILY! PREPARE TO DIE!" Sasuke continued, backing Itachi up.

"HELLO! MY NAME IS SASUKE UCHIHA! YOU KILLED MY FAMILY! PREPARE TO DIE! HELLO! MY NAME IS SASUKE UCHIHA! YOU KILLED MY FAMILY! PREPARE TO DIE!" he kept repeating, until he backed Itachi into a corner.

"Please!" Itachi begged, pleading for his life.

"Offer me money!" Sasuke said, cutting Itachi's cheek left, surprising Sakura, who held her tongue to see where this was going.

"Yes!" Itachi agreed.

"Offer me the position of clan head!" he continued, cutting his other cheek.

"Of course!" Itachi conceded quickly.

"Offer me anything I ask for!" Sasuke added.

"Anything." Itachi answered desperately.

"I want my family back, you teme," Sasuke answered calmly, jabbing his sword into Itachi's heart.

"Well, that went well," Sakura said, "So, Sasuke-kun, are you ready to go help me help my brother?"

"Sure, lead the way," he responded, his heart feeling lighter not that his clan was avenged. Sakura took his hand and began to lead him to where Sakura-Chan said Naruto would be.

* * *

><p>"I clearly should make sure to kill you properly, this time," Orochimaru said.<p>

"I don't believe that you will be able to, you disgusting snake," Naruto said, a snarl creeping into his voice.

"I don't believe that anyone other than my useless teammates has ever spoken to me like that," Orochimaru said, sounding mildly impressed.

"You'll be getting that a lot more often, you useless slime," Naruto said, "You will not be able to move without pain if you try to cross blades with me."

"I think you're no threat to me," Orochimaru said smugly, "But, still, let's fight if you're so eager boy. To the death."

"No, to the pain," Naruto responded.

"I'm not familiar with that one, actually," Orochimaru responded.

"To the pain means that first I cut off your arms. Then goes your left eye, and then your right. Then, goes your tongue."

"And then my ears," Orochimaru interrupted, "I killed you to quickly, last time…"

"No, your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why," Naruto responded, "So that every shriek of every child, every scream of every woman, every cry of 'My god! What is that thing!' will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. I leave you broken and helpless for the rest of your life."

"You're bluffing," Orochimaru stated with a hint of fear.

"Perhaps," Naruto said calmly, "I'm only lying here because I can't stand properly at the moment. Then again, perhaps I can."

As he said this, he stood, holding the sword and raising it to point at Orochimaru, saying, "Drop your sword."

Orochimaru obliged immediately.

"Now sit down," Naruto added, pointing at the chair next to the Sannin. Once more, the Snake summoner did as he was told.

"Tie him up," Naruto told Hinata. She immediately did that, tying it as tight as she could. She then removed the restraints on her wrists and placed them on Orochimaru's.

"Hi, Naruto!" Sakura shouted, pulling Sasuke into the room, "Wow, you were right, she is pretty."

"Where are the others?" Naruto asked.

"We thought they were with you," Sasuke said.

"Well, since you're here," Naruto said, dropping to the ground.

"He was bluffing! I knew he was bluffing!" Orochimaru said.

"Do you want me to dispatch him for you?" Sakura asked, "I'll make it messy!"

"Not yet," Naruto said, as Sasuke lifted him up. He then turned to Orochimaru and asked, "What have you been doing with the Konoha nin who are found dead? If you tell the truth, we won't kill you."

"I've been experimenting on them, killing those who fail," he responded, trying to prolong his life as long as he could.

"Sorry, Sakura," Naruto said, turning to his teammate, "I think that leaving him to the mercy of the Hokage is punishment enough."

As he said this, the Hokage entered the room looking at Orochimaru with disapproval.

"I am very disappointed in you, Orochimaru," he said, signaling for ANBU to take the Snake user. Then, turning to the quartet, he said, "as for you three…"

Before he could continue, Lee's booming voice was heard as he shouted, "Yosh, Kakashi and I have most youthful steeds for us to escape on!"

Without a word, the group leapt out the window with minimal difficulty on Naruto's part, landing on the horses. They then proceeded to ride as quickly as they could, trying to get to the village gates as quickly as they could. If they made it to the gate, they could escape.

"You know," Sasuke said on his own horse next to Sakura, "Now that I have avenged my clan, I don't know what to do next."

"Have you ever thought about becoming a Bandit?" Naruto asked as they entered the Forest, "I think you would make a very good Dread Bandit Kyuubi."

"Or," Sakura said coyly, "you could always revive your clan."

Naruto and Hinata meanwhile had ridden a bit ahead, and they drew closer to one another kissing each other gently.

Since the invention of the kiss, there have only been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind.

Then the group saw a large group of shinobi, led by the Hokage himself blocking the way to freedom. The entire group got into a fighting stance when the old man spoke.

"You six have all aided in getting rid of rather dangerous elements in Konoha, elements that would have destroyed the Will of Fire, itself. As such, we are extending our sincerest thanks and offer you amnesty, as well as an offer to join our ranks as shinobi of Konoha."

"Well, I have nowhere to go, other than my family's estates here," Sasuke said. Turning to Sakura, he said, "Do you wish to join me?"

"That sounds like a good offer," Sakura said, looking at her ragdoll, "It would definitely beat going back to Oto. Sakura-Chan agrees, too. I could perhaps even learn more medical jutsu under the Sannin Tsunade."

"Well, now that the snake is gone, I suppose there is no reason for me to continue a life of aimless wandering," Kakashi said, once more pulling out his book and walking away, "I'm going to take back my old apartment, if you need me."

"You had a man here," Lee said, "he was most youthful and was very skilled at taijutsu, which is also my own specialty. I will go seek him out and challenge him for the honor of being his apprentice. And if I can't do that, I will do 200 pushups. And if I can't do that…"

Whatever he was saying was already fading as he began a mad dash to find the jounin in order to learn from him. Everyone there shook their heads, the ANBU and the Hokage noticing how similar the boy was to the man he wanted to train him.

"And you?" Sarutobi asked Naruto, looking at him carefully.

"I am a shinobi of the Leaf," Naruto said, pulling his hitai-ate out of a pocket in his cloak, "I will always be one."

As he said this, he placed it on his forehead. He was home.


	11. Epilogue

The Kunoichi Bride

Epilogue

This epilogue was is dedicated to Chewie Cookies and Leaf Ranger, who had asked if there would be one, thereby inspiring me to write this. I still don't own either work this derives from.

"The Hokage eventually retired, leaving his position to the Miracle Tsunade, whose rule was one of the most just and led to a long period of peace and prosperity for Konoha. Suna and Konoha eventually let go of their differences, creating an alliance that would benefit both countries. Eventually, however, the time came for Tsunade to retire, and so she chose her successor, a brave shinobi who had proven himself several times over," the storyteller said.

"You!" the little girl in her bed, who was being told the entire story, cheered.

"Yes," Naruto said, a cheerful smile on his face, "Me. But, even the Hokage needs someone to help them, someone they can rely on no matter what happens. So, with the blessing of the Hyuuga clan, I finally married your mother and had a beautiful little girl with her, who we named her Kushina, after my mother. Well, it's time for you to go to sleep, sweetie."

Having said this, he started to leave the room, turning off the light as he walked past the switch. Yawning, Kushina asked, "Can you tell the story again tomorrow?"

He smiled at her gently, his eyes twinkling as, closing the door, he whispered, "As you wish."


End file.
